September 19, 2007

Looking for some time

I wish I had more time for good ol', recently bumped to, number two. It has been a struggle these last few days to find time to take care of the things that I would like to accomplish. First on the list is writing, but I also have a house full of laundry and baby gear that needs to be put away and the aerobed from my in-laws stay is still on the floor in Annie's room. I don't know where the time goes every day. One minute I'm taking care of Annie and the next minute it is five o'clock and I have to start thinking about dinner. I know that what (I'm typing with one hand right now because she is in her sling with my left pinky in her mouth) I need is for her to nap more consistently, and not in my arms. However, my energy is low and spending half the day accomplishing that is a daunting prospect. She is currently in the midst of her morning nap and ideally I would have until 10 or 10:30 to write, but working one handed cuts down the productivity some. So right now I'm trying to take care of everything while sitting dead still with Annie sleeping in my arms again. Just like yesterday; just like last night.

None of this takes into account that I need to leave the house every now and then. Forget it, it takes two hours just to go to the grocery store and back. If it wasn't so hot down here I would consider going to the park and hang out a bit, but that will have to wait a month or so. I'm becoming a hermit of sorts. The good news is that after a disappointing brush with our first Dad's day out program we have finally found a good fit for Annie at the local Baptist Church. Four hours, two times a week. I can't believe it...I'm tearing up a little just thinking about it.

Incidentally, calling it Dad's day out is my own term. I have discovered in just one month of this endeavor that this world (I would say especially down here) is not geared for Men. I know first hand that we are living in a time of increasingly equal footing between Men and Women. Our family would never have been able to have one parent home with Annie if it had depended on my pre-baby income. I had a great job and made pretty good money, but nothing that compares to that of a corporate lawyer's potential. That being said, I am shown on a daily basis that the world of Men staying home with their children is still mostly uncharted. I will certainly let you know when I meet another at home Dad. We are now at 33 days and counting, and yes I know that I will need to get out more to accomplish this great feat.

For now, I will have to cope with the foreign feeling of asking for help getting to my car at Target, listening to grandmothers tell me I'm holding Annie incorrectly, listening to grandfathers commend me on giving my wife a "break" for a little while, and attempt to rationalize the feeling of guilt over not vacuuming by the time Kristen gets home from work.


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