A Public Service Announcement from Unfinished Dad

Dear Readers,

As someone who suffers from a sort of forced sleep deprivation, I thought it important to detail for you the signs to be weary of should you suspect you are sapped of this most precious resource.

1. If you fall asleep on your stomach and your beard fills with drool, thusly soaking your pillow...your are tired.

2. If you fall asleep on your stomach and your beard fills with drool, thusly soaking your pillow and you don't even bother to shift positions...your are beat.

3. If you fall asleep on your stomach and your beard fills with drool, thusly soaking your pillow, and your arm falls asleep because it is wedged awkwardly underneath you...you are tuckered out.

4. If you fall asleep on your stomach and your beard fills with drool, thusly soaking your pillow, and your arm falls asleep because it is wedged awkwardly beneath you, and you still don't shift positions despite the immediate, real possibility of losing a limb...you are exhausted.

5. If you fall asleep on your stomach and your beard fills with drool, thusly soaking your pillow, and your arm falls asleep because it is wedged awkwardly beneath you, and when you finally shift positions due to the immediate, real possibility of losing a limb, your arm isn't just asleep, but dead, and when you lift that arm above your head to see if the feeling will miraculously comeback, only to find that is just sort of folds at the elbow, hitting you in the face like a wet steak...you have kids.

Hope this helps,

Unfinished Dad